Why you gotta be a hater?

I'm a hater. I don't like to admit it, but I am. Not a playa hater, mind you, but a hater none the less. What kind of hater am I? Well, I am a langauge hater. Now I am sure that you are thinking, "What is a langauge hater?". So allow me to explain.

Now in the Land of the Raisind Sun, there are those gaijins that can speak, read, and write Japanese very well and then there are the rest of us that just don't speak. I am part of the 2nd group! And, simply put, I have become very, very jealous of those that can speak. It started off as just something that bothered me a little at first, but now it has gotten to the point where I change the TV channel when certain TV shows come on. There are a few TV shows that have gaijins on them that speak Japanese very well. I don't like these shows for 2 reasons: one, most of the time the gaijins are speaking and acting like jackasses (and everyone knows I hate jackasses!). And 2, I HATE the fact that they have a better level of commuincation with everyone around them than ME! Thus, I am a hater.

This is not something that I am proud of, but the first step towards recovery is a admitting that you have a problem! I know that those people that can speak well have paid their dues. I know that they have studied hard and have had to over come many problems living here. They should be proud that they have mastered another language! But, at the same time it also reminds me that I have a LOOOOOOOONG way to go before I can do what they do. It reminds me that I have A LOT studying to do. My hate does drive me though, its like an itch that I can't reach, its making me a litttle crazy but I can almost reach it!

Some of my Japanese friends have told me that if I have a dream (sleeping) and its in Japanese I am making progress. Well if that's the case bring on the sleeping pills and the Japanese text books! Fluency here I come.
shizzle.